Thursday, June 7, 2012
Who says boys can’t multi-task?
There is a common misunderstanding that only girls can multi-task - I would say the opposite..
When driving a bike,
one hand on clutch,
one hand on accelerator,
one ear on traffic,
one ear on mobile,
one leg on gear,
one leg on brake,
end of course two eyes on all the girls…
Now who wants to say that boys can’t multi-task?
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
MMOTD - Night
#include <night.h>
#include <sleep.h>
#include <dreams.h>
sleep main()
{
lights=off;
blanket=on;
while(time!=morning)
{
eyes(close);
if(kothuk>0)
{
thallikollel++;
kothuk--;
}
else
{
fan=on;
}
}
sleep(well);
sweet(dreams);
getch();
}
/* kidakette oru software goodnight.lol..*/
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Cost Cutting Rules in Office
To: All Employees
DUE TO BUDGET CUTS, THIS IS YOUR NEW CUBICLE
EFFECTIVE OCTOBER 1, 2008 NEW OFFICE POLICY
Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work .
Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In
rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the
stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the ‘Chronic Offenders’ category. Anyone caught smiling in the
picture will be sectioned under the company’s mental health policy.
Lunch Break: (Love this one)
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
The Management
Friday, October 17, 2008
Google hates me…
It looks like google hates me.. for some reason my PR seems to ge going down and down… I thought google liked blogs… Am I wrong??
Friday, September 12, 2008
Beer contains female hormones
Last month, National University of Lesotho scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women… lol some men will love this..
To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period.
It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn’t drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary.